Switch for the Summer
by FreeVirtualHugs
Summary: Harry must take a gender switching potion to protect himself from Voldemort during the summer. He lives with Remus and Sirius, who survived, at Grimmauld place and must adapt to being a girl. It doesn't mean he has to like it though. Humour/Family
1. Chapter 1

"Harry it would just be so much easier, don't you understand the importance of this

**Chapter 1: Proposition**

"Harry it would just be so much easier, don't you understand the importance of this?" Remus asked him imploringly.

"Importance! _Importance_! Harry seethed his fists shaking slightly. "If you think for one minute that I'm about to go along with this-"

"Harry, we don't have another choice and until we have Hogwarts protection on you again there is no way to keep you hidden at the Dursley's without Voldemort knowing." Sirius said frustrated at his godson's stubbornness but he did understand why Harry wouldn't want to do it. "We'll hide you at Remus' place for the summers until you finish Hogwarts and we'll apply the potion then. No one at Hogwarts will know except for some of the teachers."

"Yeah," Harry spat angrily "What about if I want to see Ron or Hermione? Am I just gonna show up and say 'Hey, guys, I'm a freaking GIRL for the summer!'" He bellowed. Remus and Sirius looked at each other nervously.

"No way!" Harry roared glaring up at them. "Yo expect me to leave the house and meet my friends like _that_?"

"Well – well, yeah, Harry. We thought you wouldn't care around Ron and Her-"

"OF COURSE I'D CARE!" Harry screamed, feeling tears of anger building up. He couldn't believe this and so he just stared at his new guardians mutinously in silence, breathing heavily.

Remus wiped his tired scarred face wearily. "Harry, I know you're upset." He said. Sirius begged to differ and thought that Harry's head was about to pop off his shoulder from rage. "But don't you think we'd only ask you if it was _the_ last option?"

Harry opened his mouth and then closed it again but said nothing.

"Harry…?" Sirius asked.

"Okay, I get why you'd want me to do it, for protection and stuff but no one even asked me how I felt about it." He jibed trying to make them feel guilty enough to stop their stupid plan. He felt a swelling satisfaction when their eyes became downcast and Sirius fiddled with the bottom of his shirt.

"Harry," Remus began "to tell you the truth we only knew about these two days ago, not even before we brought you here. We thought you wouldn't have too big of a problem with it for the Order's sake but Dumbledore doesn't know what to do now that the blood wards have gone down." Harry felt a small stab of his own guilt when he saw how sincere Remus was but tried to swallow it as he continued his fight.

"Look," Harry said running a hand wildly through his hair, a habit he had picked up during the stress of last year. "Why don't we just use spells to make me look really different, change my name and move out of London for the summer?" he suggested praying silently.

"Sorry, Harry, it isn't that simple." Sirius said shrugging in apology. "Voldemort will still know who you are even under enchantments and will be able to find you. It's sort of like the Marauders Map, but with your magical aura. Because 'old Voldy' and you are kind of connected, he can sense where you are, which is why he keeps popping every year. Spells can cover up _where_ you are but not _who_ you are…is this making any sense?" he asked.

"No, not really." Harry said bluntly.

"If you take that potion, which is really rare and complex by the way, your magic will change." Remus explained, "A female aura is different to a male and so it will confuse Voldemort and make him connected with a totally different person who he's never met. Because we've got all the protective charms around you, he never will but he won't be able to send images through your head because of the change in auras. Two male aura's are easier to mix minds than those of the opposite sex, which is why falling is love is a blessing because there aren't many opportunities for a person of getting a soul mates in the Wizarding world."

Harry sat down on the bed behind him, his two guardians watching for his next move. The almost sixteen-year-old sat rubbing his temples and running all this new information through his mind. He could tell it was complex and that it wouldn't be taught at Hogwarts.

"Alright then." He murmured into his lap, feeling the unwelcome tingling sensation of defeat in the back of his throat. Remus sighed and Sirius hung his head and sighed. Harry didn't know how to feel about this situation, but he knew one thing, he would most certainly not be leaving the house much this summer.

"Harry, thankyou," The werewolf said to him sitting down on the bed next to him. "You've saved the Order allot of trouble." He praised only causing Harry to feel more uncomfortable about the idea.

"Yeah, Kiddo, we're proud of you. I sure as heck couldn't have done this, especially at your age." Sirius remarked putting a hand on Harry's shoulder for support. Harry tried to give a smile but it turned out to be more of a grimace and he watched with a pounding heart as Remus went out of the room to fetch the potion.

A minute of silence passed until Remus carried in an old goblet that was slightly smoking pink swirls of cloud. He handed it to Harry and Harry blushed ever so slightly at the hot pink liquid, hoping that his godfather and Remus wouldn't force him to wear anything remotely resembling that colour. He downed the goblet quickly and noticed that it didn't taste so bad. Sort of like milk and fairy floss but allot thicker.

"Now Harry you may feel a little sleepy so just lie down if you want to, but Professor Snape said that that was normal." Remus said taking the goblet from Harry. Harry whipped around to him.

"What!" he gasped, "Snape? _He_ made this? But – he – he could have poisoned it!" Harry protested.

"That's what I thought." Sirius said darkly from behind Harry.

"Then why'd you feed it to me!" Harry demanded enraged twisting around.

"Because we tested it, Harry, calm down." Remus said worriedly. Remus fumbled around in his pocket and brought out a live, white mouse.

"It's a girl." He stated, holding the little creature up to Harry. "Twelve hours ago it was a boy. We fed a drop to the mouse and it worked without side effects."

Harry breathed easier at this, but then froze. "H-how can you tell if it's a girl?" he asked his face going pale.

"How do you think?" Sirius asked dumbfounded by Harry's reaction. To his surprise Harry blushed and looked down at his hands twisting themselves in his lap. Remus looked at him curiously, wondering what was going through Harry's mind.

"Harry, what's wrong?" he asked kindly.

"I hoped the potion was just gonna make me _look_ like a girl, not – not – well you know." He whispered back his entire face now pink. Remus sighed in understanding and Sirius put an arm around Harry's two shoulders.

"Its okay, Harry, we'll help you through it." Sirius said comfortingly to the very embarrassed teenager.

Just then Harry gave a small yawn that he covered with his hand, but it did not escape Remus' sharp wolf eyes from spotting it.

"Bed." He said firmly, pushing Sirius off the large bed and as the potion was taking effect rather quickly. Harry felt very groggy but not at all like a girl yet. Maybe he would wake up a girl, or maybe he would just wake up and discover this was all some crazy dream. Harry decided hazily he liked that's last idea the best.

"Here Harry, we'll help you into your pyjama's." Sirius said taking Harry's arm to support him, allowing Remus to go to the draw full of clothes. Harry started out of his stupor.

"Wh-what?" he asked stupidly watching with pink cheek as Remus pulled out a pair of pale blue pyjama's. He watched growing even more tired as the seconds passed, as Sirius sat his on the bed and took the jumper off of him and was about to lift off the shirt.

"Wait, stop." Harry slurred out, looking slightly more awake as he clung to the t-shirt on his skinny frame. "I may agreed to changing into a girl, but I'm not about to be dressed like a baby!" he protested.

"Harry, don't be stupid, we're all guys here, nothing to be embarrassed about." Sirius said, a tiny blush appearing on his own face and gently prying the shirt from Harry's surprisingly tight grip. Harry however shook his head, suddenly feeling wide awake and mortified at what his guardians were going to do.

Remus was holding the pyjama top out waiting to help Sirius and was really confused about Harry's sudden embarrassment. "Its okay, Harry, all parent or guardians have seen their kids naked, it's nothing to be embarrassed about." He said pretty much repeating Sirius. But at the word 'naked' Harry's face turned scarlet and he shook his head again knowing he couldn't help being embarrassed at such a prospect. He had always been taught by the Dursley's that letting other's see you in such a way would not be tolerated and was the lowest thing you could do. They also added that no one wanted to see a little freak like him anyway. Fortunately, Harry had never found out the consequences for this as he was terrified by his Uncle's warning which was accompanied by a blow to the face.

Remus sighed but then got an idea. "I'll make a deal with you, Harry, if you can find the energy to dress yourself, then you can." He said, watching Harry grasp some hidden and surprising amount of energy even with the potions effect. Remus threw the pair of pyjama bottoms at Harry and the boy looked down at them secretly worried he may not be able to out them on of his lack of energy, but sheer determination carried him on.

Harry looked at Remus who was looking a little too smug for Harry liking, and Sirius who just seemed baffled and worried. Remus' look dropped a little when Harry gestured for them to get out of the room but they wouldn't budge instead turning around so their backs were to Harry. The teenager blushed at this but decided it wasn't worth the battle as he felt the little energy he had being zapped out of him. Laboriously changing into his PJ bottoms he felt himself fall onto the bed when he tried to lift up his t-shirt. He also vaguely remembered a hand resting on his shoulder before he slipped into a long heavy sleep.


	2. How Girl's are Diffeent to Boys

**Chapter 2: How Girls are Different to Boys**

Harry awoke at about nine the next morning, groggy. He was in one of those dazed sleeps where can think but you are trying to trick yourself into thinking you are still asleep. Harry finally got up when he realised there was a dull pain on his chest and was starting to get very irritating. He was lying face down and he tried rolling over. He was still for a few minutes as dregs of memories flowed sluggishly back into his mind, connecting together like a jigsaw puzzle. The little bits of information all sort of fitted into place and when the memory of Remus and Sirius holding the white mouse was laid down, Harry's eyes opened in a flash.

"Bloody hell," he whispered in terror and then clasped his hand to his mouth. His voice was higher than he remembered, softer, more feminine. Well, duh, Harry, he thought. He gingerly ran his hands through his hair, relieved that it hadn't changed much. It was still fairly unruly and was the same length but it sat flatter on his skull and was silkier. His vision was as bad as ever as the blurry outline of his hands found his glasses.

He didn't have the guts to look down just yet and, his face pale and his body trembling, he made his way over to the grubby bathroom. The mirror was cracked in places and smeared, but a clear picture was displayed in front of Harry, and he wished it didn't. He almost slipped on the old bathroom tiles and felt his face heat up all of a sudden.

"Oh, _shit_," he moaned quietly to himself, raising trembling hands to his face. He noted his eyes were the same but were now framed in thicker lashes that curved slightly. The lips – his lips – were less thin, and pinker. His nose had shrunk to become more slender and the small bulb on the end of his nose was gone. His new almost pixy like haircut curled a bit around similar ears and hung closer to his glasses and eye-brows. That was the only good thing quite possible, the fact that his scar was completely hidden by his slightly tamer fringe.

"Shit…crap, oh, shit, bloody hell…" Harry continued to emit soft profanities to the bathroom mirror and succeeded, for the first time in his life, in making his hair do what he wanted. But the voice was a problem, it made him sound more like a child than a girl, he thought and he tried to make it go lower.

"Morning," came a voice from the door way. Harry bit his tongue and uttered a particularly stronger swear as he spun round.

"Language, Harry," Remus said not really meaning it. Harry walked from the bathroom, slumped over and subconsciously pouting in a very cute way.

"How do you feel?"

"Weird," Harry answered almost miserably in the voice he hated so. Remus chuckled a bit. "Come have some breakfast," he said kindly.

"Not hungry,"

"Be careful Harry, one morning I may ask Molly over and when she finds out you're not eating she'll be after my blood." The newly changed boy-girl laughed a bit but sobered and then sent daggers with his eyes.

"Don't invite Mrs Weasely over, Remus." He shot warily. Remus held his hands up in submission,

"Yes, okay Harry, it was a joke." He assured. Harry came down to the breakfast table with the werewolf to see Sirius scoffing down some scrambled eggs and bacon, with orange juice next to him and an unused napkin lying on the table, forgotten.

"Morning," he said, actually making the extreme effort of looking at Harry rather than his food. Harry nodded, he just didn't feel like talking - or eating - or being a girl, for that matter. But he knew that his two guardians had made him do one, and they would make him do the other two.

Sirius inspected Harry quickly, his eyes darting over his new hair, slender (rather than dead skinny) limbs and even his chest. Harry blushed, suddenly quite self conscious, and sat down quite roughly, snatching a bowl of porridge and digging in. He couldn't help but notice Sirius staring in awe.

"Why are you so surprised?" he (or she) snapped at the animagus. Sirius blinked and came out of his trance and Remus sat down and picked up the daily prophet.

"You…you look like Lily." Sirius said incredulously. Harry started; it was not the answer he was expecting.

"Mmm, I thought so too," Remus said smiling. Harry didn't quite know what he was supposed to say or not. He had always been told how much he looked like his dad. But he had his mum's eyes. Now he looked even more like his mother, which was probably better because wouldn't a girl who looked like their dad be a bit boyish?

_What the hell am I thinking? I'm not making any damn sense!_

Harry, whose cheeks felt a bit warm, continued shovelling porridge into his mouth, burning his tongue.

After a reasonably silent breakfast, Harry sauntered into the living room, where he remembered he, the Weasely children and Hermione would sit and try desperately to listen to 'Order of the Pheonix' meetings. He flopped down on the couch and sorted through some of his school books. He had a considerable amount of holiday home work this summer and was glad he had a nice comfy couch to sit in while doing it. It was much better than writing until the early hours of the morning with a torch back at Privet Drive. A deliciously war feeling spread through him when he realised he would never go back there.

"Harry," Sirius called lazily from the kitchen.

"Don't bother him, he's doing home work."

"Coming," harry called quickly, smiling as he heard Sirius' bark of laughter. He re-entered the kitchen, still in his pyjama's.

"Wanna dust off the old Firebolt? I hear Umbridge banned from playing last year." He said with a subtle hint of anger in his voice.

"Brilliant," Harry agreed. He missed his broom and not having to fly with padded gear and helmets in the summer sounded much more thrilling than just sitting inside, polishing. Remus sighed, and folded the paper.

"First, I want softening charms on the grass." He said loftily. Sirius rolled his eyes.

"Yes, _mum_." He said before Remus whacked him over the head with the paper playfully. Harry laughed, it was light, almost musical. It sounded weird and Harry stopped quite suddenly. He hesitated for a second and the two men looked at him.

"I'll – go get dressed then." He said. The prospect of flying (in summer – yes!) would clear any unwanted awkwardness from today. He heard Sirius bellow something about going easy on him as he bounded up the stairs, adrenalin pumping.

Harry hesitated again as he dumped a shirt and shorts on his bed, glancing over at the mirror. He stepped towards it carefully and peered at his own girl face.

"Some thing wrong, dear?" the mirror muttered. Harry ignored it and picked up the heavy mirror and made it face the wall – so he couldn't see his reflection. The mirror grumbled. He stripped his pyjamas at lightening speed and changed into a loose fitting green shirt and three quarter shorts. He then went to the bathroom and inspected himself. His body looked almost the same except for the definite bulge under his shirt. He noted his knees were still quite knobbly, a small comfort that it was still his body…just a little different. Harry stared at himself for a few minutes thinking about things. Like whether his skin was usually this smooth, whether or not he'd need to wear make up. He'd probably need a bra at one stage, too.

"Wonder if Voldemort would even recognise me like this?" he muttered to himself, flattening his fringe subconsciously. He brushed his teeth and went back to put his shoes on. His shoes were now about three sizes too big and he had to tighten the laces allot just to keep them on his feet. Not only that, his normally perfectly comfortable pants hugged his waist, hips and thighs more than normal. His shirt sat abnormally on his neck. He shrugged, it wasn't like he'd never worn uncomfortable clothes before. All he ever had were enormous hammy-down from Dudley, and this in comparison was much better.

"It's just a bit different." Harry said, trying to reassure himself.

"Whatever you say…" said the mirror loftily from it's corner.


	3. The Trouble with Estrogen

**Chapter 3: The Trouble with Estrogen**

After four days of trying to adjust to this extremely erratic change to his own body, Harry was getting the hang of things. He had immediately learned that he didn't need to eat so much, after shoving is mouth full of food one night at dinner and just throwing it up that night, cursing his habit of fourth helpings he had acquired at Hogwarts.

He had also managed to brave his own reflection in the mirror. If it caught him off guard he couldn't help but do a double take. But after much soul searching and pacing, he had peeked at his pale delicate figure during a shower. He was glad that Remus and Sirius had not come into his room, assuming he had fallen asleep because his face was bright red for about an hour afterword.

As he flopped onto his bed, rummaging through parchment to find his incomplete potions essay (an annoyingly long one for the holidays, Harry thought) and his quill, he set his homework out for the morning. It had rained the day after he had played with Sirius and it was an extremely humid summer. He found himself asking Remus to cast cooling charms on his room more and more.

There was a small knock at the door. Harry was a bit confused, as the person didn't enter immediately.

"Um, come in?" he called in amusement at the formality. Remus stepped in, his gentle face in a small smile of approval at Harry's studies. Harry noted he carried a large brown paper bag at his side.

"Some stuff we thought you might need. I got Madam Pomfrey to gather some essentials." He said. Harry, who was sitting down, took the bag. He didn't open it.

"Thanks," he said unsure whether he would appreciate what was in the bag. The werewolf looked as if he were about to leave to Harry put his hand up and grabbed his long sleeve shirt which he insisted on wearing despite the weather. (Probably to cover up his scars)

Harry as surprised at his own actions, blushed slightly. He found the act to be quite girly, but his guardian smiled.

"Can - can you help me with this potions essay?" he asked, smiling a bit as well. Remus hesitated for a moment, but then dumped himself down beside a messy pile of scribbled out introductions.

After he had completed the dreaded essay with some good tips on the wolfsbane potion from Remus, Harry decided to peek into the bag. Inside he saw the needed underwear and a pink packet of sanitary items. There was a small delicate razor and a pot of skin cream. His face promptly became that exact colour as the highly unmentionable packet. He shoved the parcel away and folded over the lip of the bag storing it under his bed as they were sitting on the floor. Harry was just really glad Remus and Sirius hadn't got all this and that it was -

A sudden thought came to Harry as Remus watched the reaction calmly, his wolf-like eyes guessing exactly what was in the bag. Harry's heart sank a bit and panic sent of a wave of electricity over him for a second. He stiffened. Remus noticed but said nothing until Harry looked at him horrified.

"What's wrong?" he asked worriedly.

"You – you said M-madam Pomfrey – does she know? Did you _tell_ her? I don't want her to know! How many other people know?" he stuttered rapidly. It was odd that he felt normal rage be drowned out in shock and another emotion. Hurt. He began to get frustrated; he really was turning into a girl.

"Oh, is that all?" Remus asked relieved at Harry's tight-lipped face and rosy pink cheeks. "I told her I was having a niece come to say with me for a week and I didn't have any preparations in case she forgot to bring anything. I'm quite close to Pomena seeing as how I spent so much time in the Hospital wing at school." He explained. Harry just reddened while Remus put a hand on his head.

"Don't worry, it's a better kept secret than the Marauders Midnight prowling." He assured the young boy (girl).

"M'kay," he said. His trembling hands put away his work and he stood up jerkily and off balanced. He muttered something about being thirsty and almost ran down the stairs to the kitchen. Unfortunately, Sirius was splayed out on a couch in the living room which he would have to pass if he wanted to get anywhere in the house. Beetroot faced and embarrassed, he sprinted past his godfather and into the kitchen.

Hey – Harry, what's up?" he asked, sitting up, while Harry surged past.

"Kitchen - drink," Harry grunted back. Sirius followed him and peeped into the doorframe of the kitchen.

It was a wonder Sirius hadn't suffocated him in his short time at Grimmauld place. At times the animagus would tug the boy (or girl) into his embrace and hug him enthusiastically, squeezing the very breath out of him. Sirius loved to torture his godson, and he was just….oh, he didn't know how to say it…SO DAMN CUTE! He looked way younger than fifteen and he had this air of innocence about him. He was shy and easy going but he diffidently had a flare of James come into him when he got angry or spirited enough.

Sirius had confided in Mooney that he couldn't believe how being a girl suited Harry. He was this adorably awkward child who seemed programmed on making Sirius 'aww'. Of course the fact Harry despised being called cute was all the more reason to tease him. As much as he loved his godson, Sirius needed to have fun too.

As Sirius peered into the kitchen, he saw Harry draining a large glass of water and then running hands through his hair. The kid was stressed, that much as sure. Sirius didn't really know how to be all sensitive and touchy-feely, but at least this masculine habit that he had seen so often in James reminded him that Harry, no matter what he looked like, was a boy.

"What's up Kiddo?"

"Nothing,"

"Did Remus give you the bag?" Sirius asked, almost pitying the red face of the girl, gripping the dirty bench top with a small hand. No response. Sirius gave a tiny laugh and pulled the little figure into a hug. He felt Harry's hot face against him and chuckled. "You're gonna make Mooney wonder where you got to." He joked lightly. He heard a from below him sniff and almost did a double take as e stared down at the top of the black hair. Was his godson was _crying_? It seemed unfathomable, he had never known James or Harry to cry at all and here he was tyring desperately to figure out what to do. He heard another small sniffle. But no answer.

"Talk to me, Harry." Sirius said gently, pulling the teen away from him. Harry wiped a red face with his small hands. The act was extremely cute, Sirius could get used to a god daughter for a few months, he just felt like pinching the cheeks of Harry at that moment.

Harry just pulled away and muttered 'fine'. Sirius needed a bit more help than that, but luckily Remus, a.k.a Mr. Sensitive, walked into the room and took charge.

"Harry, are you okay? Sirius, what did you do?' he asked giving him a hopeless look. Any gladness Sirius felt from Mooney coming to help him was gone.

"Nothing! Why do you always blame me?" he bit back. Remus rolled his eyes and led Harry into the lounge room. It was then that Harry began to resist, he weakly pulled away but was taken firmly by his small shoulders and led to sit down.

"I'm fine, Remus," he insisted lamely.

"Won't work, Harry, I want the actual reason. I was able to speak with Hermione while you were all recovering from the Department of Mysteries. She said you've been trying to cut people off and try to go it all alone. I'm not going to have that, Harry. Boy or girl, I want a reason." He said. Sirius had joined.

"Harry, what idiot do you have to be to try and block every one out? That's just unhealthy."

"Well excuse me for trying to protect my friends!" Harry spat back. He was fighting back tears with all his might and was overcome with a familiar feeling of anger inside his belly. Ah, good old blind rage, how he missed it.

He felt Sirius whack him on the back of his head, making his glasses (which had become bigger in the last few days) slide half way down his nose.

"You idiot!" he said, as Harry rubbed his stinging head, that had hurt. "No one is an island. The only one who doesn't actually connect to any one or anything is the bastard we're fighting."

"He's right. Why do you think Dumbledore keeps saying love is the greatest power?" Remus added, as Harry looked sullenly at his lap. He stubbornly didn't say anything, and both his guardians suppressed a sigh. His narrow shoulders were hunched over and his fingers itched to tousle his hair. "Alright, we'll talk about that later then, firstly, I want to know what's got you so upset." The scarred man said. Harry seemed even more reluctant at this and sighed himself.

"Dunno," he said thickly, shrugging a bit. "Guess I'm just getting used to being – like this. Just annoying 'cause I thought I was handling it okay."

"That's okay!" Sirius said bewildered. "Who wouldn't be freaking out if they were doing what you were doing." Harry tried to smile to show he understood what the dog had said, but his cheek muscles seemed to cement themselves together. A jerky nod was all he gave but it seemed to do the job.

"It's all right to feel like that Harry, you shouldn't be so reluctant to just tell some one." Remus said, putting an arm around his ward. Harry just stood stock still.

"It's okay to get a bit emotional once in a while."

"I'm – not – being-"

"Oh, come off it, Harry, it's pretty obvious, even for me. Look, we do actually remember what it's like to be a teenager."

"You sound very mundanely parental all of a sudden," Remus smirked.

"Shut up, what I mean is that boy or girl, the hormones get to us all."

"WHAT?" Harry jerked. "You're bloody crazy."

"No, Harry, we're being realistic. It's okay to feel…down sometimes." Harry blocked his ears, face pissed and, of course, pink.

"I'm not hearing this." He groaned. Remus continued on with Sirius nodding supportively in the background.

"We all need a good cry sometimes like we all need a good hu-"

"I'm not crying!" Harry yelled too shrill for his own liking. "I'm just – I've just – got some thing in my eye *sniff*." He jabbed hurriedly, turning away as he realised he may actually be crying. If he was…he couldn't feel he'd ever live it down. This was more embarrassing that any thing. It was worse that even…oh, he didn't know…walking in on McGonagall and Snape for instance – WAIT, WHAT???

"Yeah, right Mr Macho - oldest excuse in the book!" Sirius chuckled. He patted his godson's head patronisingly. Harry's hands clenched and trembled, embarrassment overtook his whole being and a heavy blush stained his face. He managed to unroot his feet from the ground and stomp into the kitchen.

There was a pregnant pause and Harry heard mumbling from the other room.

"Sirius he's mumble mumble hurting mumble mumble dangerous mumble?"

"But he's so cute! Even when he wasn't a girl, he was just adorable." Sirius whispered back. The teen gasped and flung a fist on the table top.

"I'M NOT CUTE!" he cried out and to his horror, there were tears in his voice and on his face.

"Aww, you are too!" Sirius crooned back to him, teasingly from the doorframe before narrowly avoiding a dish towel being hurled at his head.


	4. Owl Drama

**Chapter 4: Owl Drama**

"Harry James Potter, come out of your room right _now_." Sirius attempted for the third or fourth time that morning. It was sounding less and less impressive. He stood and waited for a response, but like before, there was none. He sighed and wiped his face. He really shouldn't be dealing with a pubescent teenager this early in the morning without breakfast. But Harry was as stubborn as his male self and only shuffled about on his bed.

"Look, Mooney said none of us can eat until you come down to the table. C'mon Harry, I'm starving." He whined at the closed door.

"Just eat without me."

"Not happening, Harry, don't make me sic the werewolf on you." Sirius threatened without any playfulness. Mooney was dead scary when he wanted to be and he sure knew how to make any person feel guilty. He was also down stairs with kitchen utensils of any sort. (including a hairbrush and wooden spoon) He thought he heard a tiny muffled whimper from inside the room but he couldn't be sure.

"Go away," Harry called out as calmly as he could. He cringed at how immature he sounded but he just wanted to be alone to think. He couldn't see any way out of it without pissing off _some_ one.

"What's going on in there?" Sirius called, banging on the door. He then heard an owl screech. Hedwig must have arrived this morning after her hunt. "Is Hedwig there?" The animagus asked, curiously.

"Y-yeah." Harry called out nervously. He clutched the owl post in his shaking hand while lying on his bed. He was re-reading the scribbled words with a terrible dread. It was now day ten of him turning into a girl and he had gotten used to most of the anatomical issues – or at least didn't almost die of embarrassment whenever he saw or thought about them. It was hard enough having to deal with it without Remus and Sirius worrying about him becoming unsociable and cut off as it is but know he was a girl, they expected him to have all these feelings he wished he could just ignore. It was like his brain suddenly had a magnifying glass attached to the section that focused on emotion, especially tearfulness and just plain old embarrassment. He felt self conscious, like he was being judged.

He laid the letter down next to him.

_Dear Harry_ [it said]

_I heard you're living with Padfoot and Mooney! Congrats mate; glad to know you're not stuck at the muggle's place all summer! Listen, Hermione's worried off her face. She wants me to ask about how you're gonna keep up your occulmency (Merlin, I can't spell) over the summer. If it were me, I'd say the second Snape got fired. Anyway, Dumbledore said it shouldn't happen again, right? _

_Well, just expect a long letter from Hermione soon._

_Can't believe Hedwig manages to show up just at the right time. I'd actually just started writing this when she flew in. Thanks, it saves me using pig and we both know he's bloody useless. _

_Do you still won't to come over at some point? We would practice Quidditch since you're back on the team next year and Fred and George wanna show you their shop. I've already seen pictures and products but I haven't been inside it. It looks great though, if there weren't so many attacks in the paper, Mum would have let us go. But now we have to wait until we get our books._

_See you soon and say 'hi' to Mooney and Padfoot for me,_

_Ron _

Harry then got up from his lying position and began writing practice letters back to Ron on scrap bits of parchment.

_Dear Ron_

_Thanks, you can tell Hermione I'm fine. Living here is great. I don't know if I'll be able to see you this summer. If I can't then I'll meet you at the train station._

_Harry_

He promptly scrunched this up and tossed it off of his bed.

"Seriously, Harry, what's up?" Sirius asked as gently as he could from. Harry had always been rather awkward from a first impression. He was actually really shy too. Sirius just wanted to take him to live with him and dote on him. Make up for 12 years of not being there.

"Honestly, Sirius, it's nothing. I'm just tired." Harry called out unconvincingly. He was, naturally, a bad liar. He also got that from his mother, Sirius thought, smiling reminiscently.

The man stood at the door, stumped of ideas until the obvious answer hit him like a stunning charm. "Harry…?" he asked nervously, a bit embarrassed himself but knowing that that wouldn't help Harry. "Have you…um, got a visitor?" he asked, feeling his own cheeks warm slightly.

"Wha-what do you mean?" Harry asked warily from inside. Sirius hesitated and wished Remus was here to do this instead of him.

"Well a _monthly_ visitor." Sirius explained. He then heard a choking sound from behind the door.

"No!" Harry whispered mortified. He couldn't believe he was having this conversation with his cool Marauder godfather. He really did just feel like crawling into bed now.

"Oh, sorry, I just thought-"

"Sirius, what's taking so long? Where's Harry?" Remus said walking onto the landing. Sirius breathed a sigh of relief. He gestured to the door.

"Harry won't come out," Sirius told him as he heard agitated pacing from inside the locked room, "And he won't tell me why!" he complied.

"Harry, I'm giving you ten seconds to come out – or we're coming in!" Remus said warningly. They heard a sudden squeak from inside.

"It's not a period, or so he say's." Sirius confided to Remus hopelessly. "He won't talk to me or listen to me." He whined.

Remus gave a small smile, "Well, no offense Padfoot, but sometimes you're hard to take seriously."

"But I'm trying to be serious."

"And I'm trying to be Remus." The werewolf countered, smiling.

"Haha, very funny,"

"Okay, I'm coming in Harry!" Remus called, waving his wand across the key hole. They heard a strangled 'no' and quick shuffling of papers as the two entered to see a very flustered Harry desperately hiding crumpled up pieces of per under his pillow.

"Guys, I locked the door for a reason," Harry said hotly, but his blush made the effect much less than what it could have been.

"Watch it," Remus warned and Harry cowed.

"Sorry," he said miserably, looking down. Sirius looked at a letter that had fallen onto the floor, it had Ron's handwriting on it. Sirius picked it up and Harry made a grab for it.

"Hey, slow down, is this why you're barricading yourself in your room?" Remus asked him. Harry gave a small nod. He circled his legs in front of his chest and wrapped his arms around his knees, hugging himself.

"He wants to meet up." Harry told them stiffly. They understood then and Harry just looked away.

"Aww, Harry, It's not that bad. What's the worst thing that's going to happen if your best friends find out?"

"Sirius, I can't– I don't know how they'll react. I just – I just _can't_." Harry pleaded weakly, facing away from both men as Sirius knelt on the floor, placing his head about two feet below his and Remus sat down next to him. "I think they'd be hurt if you didn't tell them." Remus said logically.

"Every one's better off knowing, especially Ron and Hermione."

"But, they'd be upset if you didn't want to see them all summer." Sirius added.

"Yeah – but – but they don't _need_ to know." Harry said, desperate to make them understand. He rested his chin on his knees, pouting, and sighed.

"Knowing Hermione, she'll figure it out at some stage." Remus said. Harry flinched at that.

"They'd understand, Harry." Sirius said quietly, putting a hand on Harry's shoulder from his kneeling position beside the bed. Harry gave a non-committal, jerk of the head and a shaky smile. He didn't believe them and it would take allot more than a few comforting words to change that.

"What say we get some breakfast? You can write a reply to Ron later." Remus said, taking Harry by the shoulder and leading him over to the door. Harry sniffed but there was no further indication of waterworks.

"Kay, sorry," he added apologetically. Sirius jut tapped him on the nose and ruffled his hair.

Once they were walking down Sirius decided harry needed some pay back for a late breakfast. "You're such a Drama Queen," Sirius teased earning him a shove once they had finished getting down the stairs. Harry was then promptly tackled into the living room.

"Haha! Too slow!" Sirius cried as Remus heard a few books thud onto the floor. He sighed and began sipping some luke-warm tea he had made ages ago. He heated it up again with a wave of his wand.

"Gerroff me, Sirius!" Yelled Harry, laughter and frustration evident in his voice.

"No way, cutie pie!"

"What?" Harry squawked from the floor as Sirius pinned him down.

"Cute, cute, cute!"

"I am _not_!" Harry cried out sincerely. Remus heard the boy (girl) struggle vainly as the animagus laughed. The werewolf had to chuckle, he would certainly not be bored this summer.

Back in the living room, Harry was using his quick reflexes to grab any part of Sirius, but to no avail. Taunts and teases from the older man made Harry more determined than ever to get revenge.

"Aww, Remus, you gotta come take a photo of this pout!" Sirius called, laughing madly at Harry's horrified 'don't!'. Even Remus chuckled at that and almost wished he had a camera. Harry, panting heavily, made one more attempt at rugby tackling Sirius to the floor, but just missed and landed flat on his stomach.

"Ow," he muttered. His hands were red from carpet burn and his calf had scraped an old, splintered table. It bled slightly.

"Oh, Merlin, Harry, I'm sorry." Serious said worriedly. Remus, who was watching amusedly, stepped forward, summoning a vial from some where in the house.

"Doesn't matter," Harry said nonchalantly. He tried to make it seem he hadn't stacked it big time. His running was disguising the slight heat he knew would appear on his face in this situation, thank Merlin. Sirius sat him down on a couch.

"Remus, Sirius, I'm fine – really." Harry said, laughing, embarrassed.

"You're so accident prone," Remus affectionately said, not completely convinced and uncorked the vial so the balm could be poured out.

Sirius applied some balm to his leg while Remus did his hands. It was awkward just sitting there being waited on like that. Harry didn't pull way but he didn't enjoy it either.

"Umm, thanks," he said when they had finished and inspected him. He felt as if a hot spotlight were being shined onto him.

"No problem" Sirius said, "Now I think we all need some breakfast."

"Yeah," said Harry, suddenly ravenous. He began hoeing into scrambled eggs, which had to be reheated and orange juice. He found meal times at Grimmauld place were some of the least awkward times.

"So how's that potions essay coming?" Remus asked lightly.

"Oh," crap. He had forgotten about that.


	5. Surprise! aka 'Ron and Hermione Visit'

**Chapter 5: Surprises/Ron and Hermione Come to Visit**

Harry sat playing wizard chess with Remus, and was pretty pleased as he wasn't doing to badly. All the years playing up against Ron had made him a decent player. He studied the board and moved his Queen to support his remaining bishop who was in danger of being taken by a knight.

Suddenly Sirius barged into the house tripping over the hat stand in the hall.

"Why is there even a hat stand when we can make them float in mid air, for Merlin's sake?" they heard him yell from the hall. Harry snorted (which is much more masculine than giggling. This is a point Harry wanted to make perfectly clear to himself)

"Oi, get ready you two!" Sirius called, stepping into the room with a triumphant grin. The others looked mildly interested at his antics and the chess pieces began to get irritated that their game had been overtaken by something more interesting.

"Why?" Harry asked,

"I asked Ron and Hermione over!" Sirius said happily, his white teeth spread into a big satisfied grin.

Remus immediately sent the man daggers and looked toward Harry who looked like a dear in the head lights, his eyes widening. Sirius's happy face faltered. "I thought you wanted to see them, you told us you got over it." This was true as yesterday, a few days after the owl fiasco, Harry had calmed down enough to lie that he was comfortable with the idea.

"Sirius, I don't think quite so soon was what Harry had in mind." Remus hissed. Sirius looked confused.

"Oh," he said stupidly, "I thought…Merlin, I'm sorry," he said pathetically. He took a step forward and Harry bolted from the chair he was sitting on. Remus just caught his wrist before he fled up the stairs.

"Harry, wait" the greying man began.

"Tell them not to come!" harry yelled angrily, tugging away from Remus who had stood up too and shot a dirty look at Sirius who shuffled his feet apologetically. "I don't want to see them!" Harry continued. He pulled violently away but he couldn't relinquish the vice like grip Remus had on him. "L-let go!" he added not as loudly, tears prickling his eyes. The young wizard (witch) just wanted the earth to swallow him up. Ron and Hermione could not see him in such a state. He was vulnerable, on the verge of tears and worst of all a girl.

"Harry, you _do_ want to see them." Remus said, hopefully. He pulled the teen back and hugged him, still not trusting him enough to let go of his wrist though. Harry struck his chest weakly, a dry sob catching in his breath. He was hyperventilating and desperately tried to get away.

"Get off me! I don't need it!"

Tears blurred his vision and he kept his head low with complete humiliation. Ever since the gender bending two weeks ago, Harry had been so teary all the time. Remus told him it was just years of stress and hurt from his past coming out all at once since his life never gave him a chance to heal before going through another traumatic experience.

"Harry, you're just frightened, there's no reason to be." Remus assured him. Harry felt a surge of vehemence underneath rows of mortification.

"I'm not scared!" he argued, hiccupping slightly. How dare they make him feel more stupid and childish than he already did.

Remus chuckled a bit at his stubborn nature.

"You're afraid that you're friends will not accept you like this. That you'll be embarrassed and that they'll push you away – see you differently. But they won't, they _won't_, Harry." Remus crooned. Harry just got angrier. The louder he got, the better he thought he'd feel.

"Shut up! I don't need to hear this psychological crap! I'm not a little kid – you can't trick me!"

"Give me one other reason you don't want to see your two best friends?"Remus asked kindly despite Harry's sudden anger towards him. That did it, the kid snapped.

"Until now no one's wanted a _damn_ thing to do with me!! Unless I'm saving you all from Voldemort or being a poster boy for the ministry, you expect me to be this perfect boy! Well you both just can't come into my life and act like you _know_ me! You _DON'T_! You can't just say you _care_ and expect me to go along with it like always!" Harry screamed, releasing several bitter feelings all at once, letting every flow out, all the bad memories.

The hurt at thinking that he had no letters the summer after his first year – being trapped by Mr Dursley in his bedroom after the cake incident - being made to come across as a cry baby/rebel by Reeta Skeeter – being stranded last summer with no information - being hauled into the Ministry to decide whether he would go to Hogwarts. Every mean thought and feeling was being screwed up into one wave of energy which he used to push himself from Remus.

He then opened his eyes only to immediately closed them again. Remus and Sirius were looking at him, aghast. They just looked, open mouthed as all this ill feeling poured out of the boy, and they felt so bad. They knew his life had been troubled, frustrating and it was painful to know they could have stopped it if they tried. His hurt made them feel not only like they were letting James and Lily down but as if they had just turned away a good friend onto a cold street in the middle of the night with no food or shelter from a storm.

Remus took a step back. "Harry," he said weakly, sadly. "We're…so sorry." He said.

Sirius looked like a Dementor had walked by. "Merlin, Harry…this is my fault. I'm sorry you've had such a rough life. But, as hard as it seems, you've got people who'll stick by you."

Harry, turned around but didn't walk back the other way. His shoulders shook …and his lips trembled. "I'm sorry, too." He said thickly. "…shouldn't have said that."

"But I'm glad you did. I don't want to think about how long you've had that bottled up inside of you." Remus whispered, smiling a tiny bit, walking closer. Sirius joined him and they both hugged the boy.

"I just- I just can't face them." he said quietly, quite ashamed of his sudden tantrum.

"You're more afraid of your friends rather than a psychotic murderer who's been after you for 15 years?" Sirius asked gently. Harry had no answer to that. But he almost smiled.

After all the tears and tantrums were out if the way, Harry went to wash his face. This was a good move as Sirius knew that the two guests would be over soon. He had neglected in mentioning that the pair would be over at about one. They had about thirty minutes now. Hmmm, maybe he should tell Remus…

"So," The werewolf said resignedly, as if reading the other's train of thought. "When will they get here?" Sirius hesitated. He had gotten side tracked in Diagon Alley on his way back from the Weasley that morning. It was just that so much had changed and he was going to use his new freedom as much as he could.

"Well," he said hesitantly, "In half an hour…?"

_Thwack!_

"Are you kidding me, Sirius?" Remus whispered heatedly. "This doesn't give Harry any time to get used to the idea at all! I had thought, maybe dinner or after but – _argh_, you idiot!"

"Okay, I'm sorry, I screwed up! Oh, Remus you're such a worrier. I bet the real reason you're so upset is beuase you wanted a chance to tidy up before the company arrived." Sirius joked. Remus then came after him with part of the daily prophet.

"When I get my hands on you, Sirius I'll make Azkaban look tame!" Remus shot at him, chasing him. Sirius let out a small laugh at how funny the situation was. He and Remus looked like an old married couple…haha. Sirius was smiling up to the point Remus managed to summon a rolling pin from the kitchen – then he started to sprint.

Harry sat rigidly on the old couch. He had crossed his legs and was constantly fidgeting with something. He was staring at his hands and his breathing had become short and sharp. Remus sat awkwardly next to him, his eyes skimming over articles he had read previously. He had been reading the same line over and over again without actually understanding what had been written. Sirius was sulking upstairs. To tell the truth Remus had been worried about the state of Grimmauld place and had to madly dash throughout the house to set it all up and clean it all. It was amazing what three people could do to a house in such a little time. Remus tried to inconspicuously glance at his watch by only rotating his wrist slightly.

A sudden muffled boom came from another room and what seemed like a small bomb has exploded inside the house. Harry jumped while Remus put a hand on his shoulder and calmed him. The main fireplace was in the other room, where the Order had most of their meetings. They both entered, Harry concealed behind the man, twisting his hands together, to be met with quite a large amount of dust.

There was coughing from all parties until Remus stepped forward and flicked his wand, removing the dust.

"Professor Lupin!" Hermione cried happily a he smiled at them.

"Hello Hermione, Ron." He said.

"Hey, Mooney! Where's Harry?" Ron asked. Remus seemed to hesitate and he stepped to the side, revealing the even smaller figure of Harry, who trembled slightly.

There was a huge prolonged silence. It seemed to go on forever, reaching every inch of the house until only the occasional bird and passing car would reach their ears. Remus was a little at loss of what to do. Hermione eventually closed her mouth her eyes wide and Ron just gawked like a fish out of water. Harry peeked up at them from his hands and flinched, immediately wishing he hadn't. He felt heat on his cheeks and behind his eyes and his breathing became shorter and sharper by the moment.

"Ron, Hermione," Remus began, stepping forward.

"Woah…" Ron whispered stupidly.

"H-Harry?" Hermione asked, taking a small step forward as well.

Harry let out a small groan of a noise that seemed as sorrowful as a sob. He stumbled back clumsily. Before Remus could grab him, as he knew exactly what was going to happen, Harry sped out of the room. Ron and Hermione both let out a yell, to stop him, but Harry, whose pink cheeks had a flow of tears pouring down, ignored them.

_Idiot, what were you expecting?! You really are a freak! Now what will they think of you?_

He couldn't control yelp of hurt as he scuttled in his room and crawled into his wardrobe and sat down inside of it. He grabbed a large jumper from a hanger and wept into it.


End file.
